I am often asked, when clients attend for
the first time, about the ways UK
counselling and counsellors work.
They have seen depictions on tv, mainly of American counsellors and may
think that we work like that, a variation on the psychiatric doctor-and-patient
relationship.
I am quick to reassure them that we don’t
work like that at all, that the counsellor and client in the UK counselling relationship is one of
two equal partners, striving to improve the wellbeing (or perhaps tackle a
specific problem) brought by one of them.
Some clients are anxious lest there be long
periods of silence in the session, maybe a previous counsellor has held the
silence and not spoken. But I reassure
my clients, if they mention this concern about quiet
moments, that I am considering one of two things at such a time. Is the client looking at me and wanting me to
say something (which, of course, I would) or is he or she deep in reflective
thought, mulling things over, giving me little or no eye contact, in which
case, I would be interrupting.
The general tenor is conversational, it is
a dialogue between the two people present, not some kind of tense stand-off. My role is to help my client feel comfortable
as soon as possible, relaxed enough to feel able to talk about the issue(s)
that brought them along and, really important too, fully heard.
Once that early rapport is established, the
real work begins.
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